hustle
by fiction fetishist
Summary: Life is hard. / Kise tries baking. / Kise is not good at giving presents. / Kagami blames Kise for everything. — drabble dump


**Life is hard. — Kise, Aomine; Kise/Kuroko**

"Life is hard," Kise bemoans, slumping over his desk.

"You mean _you're_ hard," Aomine corrects, stuffing himself another mouthful of rice with his chopsticks. "For Tetsu."

"That too," Kise sighs, casting another wistful look in Kuroko's direction.

On the other side of the room, Kuroko wonders how on earth he knows these people.

—

**Kise tries baking. — Kise, Aomine; Kise/Kuroko**

"You can't cook for _shit_, Kise," Aomine says, throwing up the latest batch of chocolates all over the counter. "Are you talking lessons from Satsuki or something."

"I'm just following the recipe," Kise defends, crossing his arms over his chest, fluffy apron and all. Aomine mourns the fact that someone, somewhere, out there, would have found that attractive.

"Then fuck that recipe," Aomine says, scraping at his tongue with a tissue. "Why do _I_ have to be the one to test your shit, anyway?"

"Because," Kise explains, waving his whisk around as if to prove a point, "Murasakibaracchi eats anything, Midorimacchi wouldn't even let me finish talking before he said no, there's no way I'm gonna ask Akashicchi—"

"What about Tetsu," Aomine interjects, bored out of his skull already.

"I can't do that!" Kise objects immediately, making exaggerated 'X' motions with his hands. "Aominecchi, he's the one I'm supposed to give these to."

"Then all the more reason to let him try it," Aomine says flatly, then, as if to add insult to injury, he adds, "_Duh_. And people call me the stupid one."

"That— But—" Kise sputters intelligently, shifting to stare resolutely at the countertop, seeking the answers to the universe from its marble surface.

Aomine rolls his eyes. "Come on, loverboy," he says, getting off the kitchen stool and dragging Kise outside. "Let's go play some one-on-one. You need to repay me for making me eat that shitpile you tried to pass off as chocolate."

"…Fine," Kise resigns, dejected. "Ah, but if I manage to win a round, will you promise to keep taste testing for me until I get it right?"

"Sure," Aomine says, because, yeah, right, as if Kise could beat him into eating any more of _that_.

.

An hour later, Aomine had never hated the saying 'eat your own words' more until that very moment.

—

**Kise is not good at giving presents. — Kise, Aomine; Kise/Kuroko**

"That's really gay," Aomine says disapprovingly over the phone. "Even for you."

"Really?" Kise asks, not even going to take offence at that last part as he reluctantly crosses off one more item on 'Possible things to give Kurokocchi for his birthday'. "You really don't think he'd like it?"

"I think he'd report you," Aomine says. "That is, if he doesn't kill you first."

"Alright then," Kise sighs, hanging up.

Looks like he practiced how to tie himself as a present while naked all for nothing.

—

**Kagami blames Kise for everything. — Aomine/Kagami, Kise/Kuroko**

"Kise just won't _shut up_ about it, jesus christ," Aomine complains to Kagami, running alongside him and stealing the ball from his hands. "I mean, goddamn," Aomine fakes to the left, "we're supposed to be playing basketball, not hosting the 'Kise can't fucking wait to get into Tetsu's pants' show." Kagami tries to block him. Aomine jumps, shoots. "I mean, seriously," Aomine complains some more, as the net swooshes above him, "I get that he's horny all the time. He doesn't need to fucking remind me every five seconds."

"Uh huh," Kagami says, making a mad dash for the ball as it falls through the basket, coming within its reach for a fraction of a second before Aomine goes in for the kill and takes it into his hands.

"I mean," Aomine starts again, turning and breaking past him, running to the other side of the court, "seriously, it's always Kurokocchi this and Kurokocchi that." Kagami watches Aomine's feet as he continues to run, trying to figure out where to go next. "Like, even when he's too tired to keep playing he still _keeps on fucking talking_." Kagami moves to the right. "_God_," Aomine makes another jump, another shoot, but Kagami manages to block this one this time around, smashing the ball right into Aomine's face.

"Whoops," Kagami deadpans, making no effort at all to help Aomine as he falls to the ground.

"What the actual _fuck_," Aomine manages, clutching his hand to his face. "I think you broke my nose, you asshole."

"Well if it'll get you to shut up, then good," Kagami says. "Seriously, all you ever do lately is complain about how much Kise talks, when you talk just as much."

"I do not," Aomine says, wincing, "Ah, fuck, I think you seriously broke it."

"Shit, really?" Kagami asks, crouching down to check the damage.

"No, not really," Aomine says, punching Kagami in the face.

"God, _fuck_," Kagami exclaims, "What the fuck did you do that for, asshole?"

"You did it first, genius," Aomine bites back. "At least were even now."

"Fuck you," Kagami says, rubbing at the tender spot on his nose. "Seriously."

"Well," Aomine shrugs, wiping at his face one more time. "It's not like I'm in the mood to play basketball anymore, anyway."

"Um," Kagami says.

.

'this is all your fault,' Kagami texts Kise three hours and five rounds later.

'? ? ?' Kise replies.

Kagami doesn't text back.


End file.
